Baby and young child behaviors that may worry you: fear of strangers
Your baby may show discomfort when held or approached and addressed by a person unfamiliar to him/her. This behavior is common and usually occurs between 7-10 months of age. It can last several months, but may also continue for longer. It usually passes when the child is 18-24 months old.
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What can you do?
Although fear of strangers is expected during development, you can help your child feel less uncomfortable.
- Do not ignore and reject the baby's discomfort. The baby may cry and react even more intensely out of the need to show you more clearly what he/she is going through.
- Hold the baby’s hand, or hold him/her on your lap when introduced to new people. Whenever possible, introduce new people in a familiar environment - in your home, for example.
- If the baby is very uncomfortable with a new person, comfort and calm him/her down completely, and only then try, for example, to play all together. To begin with, move the baby away from the new person.
- Be patient and gentle. Do not insist on contact between the baby and the new person. Don't worry too much about how adults feel - ask strangers to wait before taking the baby in their arms. Say the baby is learning to meet new people and give the baby time to get to know and want contact with the new person.
- Be calm - neither too happy, excited, nor worried - when you introduce the baby to new people. The baby will observe your behavior and assess the situation based on your reactions.
- Don’t give up on meeting new people, on the contrary. Put your baby in situations to meet new people. Always greet them cordially, letting the baby know - with a smile, pleasant, cheerful voice, eye contact - that the contact with the new person is pleasant.
Extremely strong fear of strangers may lead to social anxiety and discomfort in social relations when the child is older. It is, therefore, important to seek professional advice if you are concerned that the discomfort your baby experiences when meeting new people is very intense or the baby does not calm down even when the stranger leaves. Also seek advice if the fear of strangers persists beyond the second year of the child's life.
