Coping with New People and Places

Materials You Need: None

What You Can Do Together: At this age, your child is probably still showing some fear or uneasiness about new people or new situations. At this age, however, your child has more ability—with your help— to find ways to begin to manage his feelings.

Find opportunities to give your child gradual exposure to new people and places. It may help to talk about this first, perhaps if possible, showing your child a picture (“Remember grandmother? We are going to visit her later today.”) or “Later you and I will visit Dr. Smith. Just like before, she will look into your mouth, like this” (pretending). If your child becomes upset in a strange situation, you can help by recognizing the feelings (“Yes, I know you are feeling scared.  Sit here on my lap. Do you want to hold your teddy bear?”). After the situation ends, talk soothingly to your child and remind him of some of the ways your child coped: “I know you were a little scared, but remember what you did to make yourself feel better? (naming that)”.

What Your Child is Learning: Remember that your child’s fears about strange places and people are an important step in his development. It shows how close your child is to you, and that he knows the difference between situations that make him feel secure and those that do not. With your support, your child is also building up “coping strategies” — ways that your child may begin to soothe himself. Your child is beginning to see himself as a capable person but also one who can depend on you and others for comfort.