Effective communication with children in crisis situation
What are the signs of stress in children
How to help children through communication
Approach the child gently
1. Explain...
- Who you are and what you are doing there
- What is your name
- Who are you working for
- Why are you there
2. Speak softly, slowly and calmly.
3. Try to sit down next to the child, or crouch down to talk to the parent or child, so you are at the same level.
4. If it is appropriate in your culture, maintain eye or physical contact, such as holding the parent or child’s hand, or having your arm around the person or on his or her shoulder.
Help a child to stabilise
If a child looks panicked and disoriented, help them to calm down. Use a calm, low, comforting voice and non- threatening body language. Introduce yourself and crouch down to be on eye-level.
Encourage them to focus on non-distressing things in the immediate environment. Comment on sounds or objects that are close by. Ask them: “What are three things you can see? ... What are three things you can hear”
Encourage them to breathe deeply and slowly. Exaggerate your own breathing or try to count to give the child something to concentrate on.
If a child reacts negatively (e.g., aggression) try to calm the situation. Explain to the child that you understand their anger, but also tell them that aggression does not help. For example, say, “It is okay to be angry, but please do not hit others when you are angry. I am here to take care of you and to keep you and your friends safe.”
Ask Open Ended Questions
Ask “why,” “when,” “where,” “what” and “who.” With these the child can clarify what happened and give you information about their feelings and thoughts. Be careful not to probe when asking open questions.
Be an active listener
Convey warmth and positive sentiments in verbal as well as non-verbal communication:
- Keep attentive focus - Stay quiet and let the child speak without interruption. Use your body language to show that you are listening and concentrating on what the child is saying.
- Paraphrase - Repeat the key words spoken by the child. Act like a mirror – not in a parrot-like way, but as a way of using the same type of language as the child.
- Summarise - Every now and then, reflect and summarise what the child has told you so far in the conversation. This shows that you have listened and that you are trying to understand. In addition, you are verifying if you have understood the information correctly.
Apply Normalisation and Generalisation
Normalisation = Reassure a child that his or her reaction is common and normal. This helps the child understand that there is a reason for these feelings and reactions.
Generalisation = Help the child to realise that many other children share their reactions. It is perfectly normal to feel and react this way and many other children also react this way. They are not alone!
Apply Triangulation
It is very intimidating and scary to talk to strangers. If a child does not want to talk to you directly, talk to the child through another person, or a toy/object.
Relate primarily to the child to make them feel that you are focusing on them. For example, if you ask a child how they are, and they remain silent, say, “May I ask your mum instead?” If the child nods, ask the adult. If the child is not with a caregiver, use a toy for triangulation. You can say: “Your teddy bear looks tired; he must have walked a long way today. Maybe he would like some water. Would you like some water as well?”
Talking about conflict and death
When a child approaches you and asks about the conflict or death, search for their caregiver. They should be the one to have this conversation with their child. Communicate this openly with the child.
