Pretending to Say Goodbye

Materials You Need: A story for you to tell, either from a storybook or one that you create yourself; puppets, dolls, stuffed animals, or other objects that you can use to act out the story.

What You Can Do Together: At this age, your child may seem less upset than when your child was younger, when you leave him (for example, to leave your child with a grandparent or babysitter, or for your child to attend a child care program). One way to help make your child feel more secure is to tell a story or “play pretend.” For example, you can read or make up a story about a little girl or boy whose mother is leaving to go to the market. The child will be cared for by a neighbor. The story can include recognizing that the child is not happy, but perhaps the child waves goodbye, sits on the lap of the neighbor, finds a game to play, and is happy when Mama or Papa comes back. 

This kind of story, or a different one, can also be played out with dolls or other pretend materials.  You can ask your child things like “What can the little boy do to feel better? Can someone help him?” 

Of course, you can also help your child become more secure about separation during everyday experiences. When you leave, be sure to tell your child when you will come back, tell him or her how your child will be cared for in your absence, and give some ideas for how your child might spend time while you are gone.

What Your Child is Learning: All these experiences will help your child to become more emotionally secure and be able to regulate his emotions. Your child is learning how to cope with distressing experiences. He is also learning about the future and how to plan for future events.