Saying "No" with Love

Materials You Need: None

What You Can Do Together: At this age, your baby is most likely beginning to crawl. This means that she or he is starting to explore all sorts of things in the environment—including things that may be dangerous. You may find that you want or need to tell your baby “no.”  How can you do this in a loving, effective way?  A few tips:

• “Babyproof” the environment to eliminate dangerous items that your child might reach.
• Use as few “no” as possible.  If you see your baby moving towards an unsafe object or place, distract or move him/her gently to another interesting item.  You might say “Let’s find something safe to play with.”)
• Use other words, not always “no.”  “Stop” or “Dirty!  Make you sick!” may get the same idea across.
• Because your baby won’t understand “no” at first, if you say it, move close to your child and, at the same time, explain briefly (“Ouch!  That can hurt you!”) and use a serious tone of voice. 
• Make most of what your baby hears be “yes,” not “no”!

What Your Child is Learning:  Your baby needs to explore and move his or her body, but this has to happen safely.  You are helping keep your baby safe and teaching her or him, gradually, to avoid things that are not safe.  Your baby is learning to connect a word (“no” or “stop” or “don’t use that”) with an object or situation.  This is important for the development of thinking and language.  At the same time, he/she is learning to trust that you will keep him/her safe and will help him/her to find good things to do.