Who Is This Person?

Materials You Need: None

What You Can Do Together: You may be surprised that, at this age, your child suddenly begins to be afraid, shy, or uneasy when meeting people she or he does not know.  Before, perhaps, your child gave everyone big smiles. This is another step in your child’s development.  It shows that your child knows and cares a lot about the difference between you—his/her special people—and everyone else.

When possible, give your child time to warm up to a new person.  Hold your child, talk easily to the other person, and by doing this you are comforting your child.  Rather than teasing or urging your child (“Don’t be so shy!), let him or her respond, or not respond, in any way that seems to make your child more relaxed.  If the new person starts to overwhelm your child with friendliness, you might simply say, “Let’s give her a bit of time to get to know you,”  again avoiding labelling your child as a shy or fearful child. Depending on the situation, you might give the new person a little toy or other item that your child may be curious about to “break the ice.”

What Your Child is Learning:  This uneasiness with new people may last for quite a bit of time, but your child is learning two things.  First, he or she is learning that you are a source of reassurance and comfort in upsetting situations (emotional security).  Second, your child is learning that other people are often quite nice and may be fun to be with (social development).  As always, your support makes a big difference.