Why is parental alliance important for child care?

A parental alliance is a powerful tool that a family has to take good care of their child. It unites the father and mother around a common goal - caring for the child and the well-being of the child and the family. Although this seems to happen spontaneously, the development of a quality parental alliance is, in fact, preceded by a significant number of steps.

Building a parental alliance begins in pregnancy, when a couple looks for ways to share experiences and feelings related to the baby's development before birth, worries and expectations from themselves as future parents.

A quality parental alliance is important for your family. It can provide:

shared management of the household, new child care routines and changed routines related to daily functioning.

Parents who have a strong parental alliance strive to be involved in the day-to-day child care and household management in a way that they consider fair, caring and discussing what and how they can do.

care for both parents' mental health and emotions.

Parents who have a strong parental alliance try to talk about their feelings, especially those concerning new roles and caring for the child. They have a better chance of recognizing long-lasting feelings of helplessness, sadness and being overwhelmed by new tasks and react in a timely manner, thus preserving the parents' mental health, as well as quality living conditions for the child.

talking about the child and support in your own development as a father or mother. No parent mastered those skills by simply assuming that role.

Parental alliance is the closest and most intensive support you can have in developing your child care style, your relationship with your child, and your experience of being a parent.

both parents' involvement in caring for the child.

A strong parental alliance means understanding the importance of a quality relationship with both parents for the child's development. In addition, a strong parental alliance is based on the idea that both parents are equally adept at all aspects of caring for their child and that, in order to become skilled, they need time to get to know their child and establish a relationship with him/her. This is why a quality parental alliance will seek ways to ensure special time with the child for both parents.

Research shows that a strong parental alliance safeguards the marriage against the possible negative effects of changes in intimacy that come with parenthood.

It is important to keep in mind that developing a strong parental alliance is your shared task. In pursuit of this task, you may face many challenges:

your family of origin, or your environment, may consider the mother to be a more skilled parent and may develop such expectations in you. This, in fact, creates enormous pressure and stress for both parents. Also, this belief has been refuted by science - both parents have equal chances of developing quality care for the child.
you can encounter the message that the mother is expected to know and be able to do more in the daily organization and child care, and that information and knowledge about parenting is conveyed primarily to mothers. Sometimes, under the influence of such messages from advertisements, and often from professionals as well, families "fall into the trap" and assign the task of managing child and household care to the mother, and the "helper" role to the father. You may be under the impression that there are justifications for this division of roles - the father works, the mother is at home and the like? It is important to make the decision about who will do what together, with appreciation of each other's feelings and needs, as well as to provide opportunities for both of you to get to know the child and learn how to take care of him/her.